As Close As You Can Be Without Touching

by Alice Limoges

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1.
Please can you be close as you can be without touching Because I wanna try to tough as little as goes by before I’m nothing I swing north and back, your name I must untack from on my ceiling So love me a bit but not enough to make me start feeling Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself And please can I scream loud as I can scream without speaking Frozen lips, they feel like sinking ships once they start leaking I try to be fine but water left on high will boil over So let me set until my heart is tangled with the clover Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Myself I saved up all the letters never written Soaked empty pages 'til the ink ran dry Soon solitude was sweet as being forgiven It’s better to say nothing than to lie It’s better to say nothing So please can you be close as you can be without my knowing Knowing takes so long and when I know I will be gone without going It’s better to break a heart that’s bound to ache and once it’s broken I’ll cast it to sea, existing partially, forever floating Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself Only when I’m with somebody else do I feel all by myself
2.
So good at goodbye It’s always simple in the movies They start out smiling by the end they’ll cry Life is simple ‘til it happens to me So good at hello Though toward the end the plot it tends to slow I’m so good at goodbye Until you have to go Something else that the phone won’t let me hear Is lost inside the crumpled letters There’s precision with which only words can steer But accurate is not the same as better Stars entwine as we bridge the dots The sweetness of laughter is lost in thought I’m so good at goodbye When it isn’t you I want And no, who told you to go so far away But worse it comes to worst Could you say it first, it first Worse it comes to worst Could you say it first What’s it in a word I can’t take? Partings without sugar soaked by sorrow And I’d rather suffer distance and it’s ache Than admit that we have run through our tomorrows Never wrote a word in the script The ones fresh on my tongue tend to slip I’d be good at goodbye If I wasn’t saying it Wait I say things could stay the same for us But worse it comes to worst Could you say it first Worse it comes to worst could you say it first
3.
Sit alone at the counter
 Silent phone hour after hour
 Drunk by this city’s bitter wine 
Last sip at the end of the communion line But I’m not losing Las Vegas I’m not losing Las Vegas I’m not losing Las Vegas 
I’m already gone Solaced by those passing car lights
 The flickers on your ceiling match the whites of your lies Put out like your unlit cigarette
 An empty ashtray and penniless debt But I’m not losing Las Vegas I’m not losing Las Vegas I’m not losing Las Vegas 
I’m already gone Who flips back an hour glass? 
What’s gone is gone what’s passed is past Who flips back an hour glass? 
What’s gone is gone what’s passed is past
4.
I am the lucky one I am the only one Must be the happy one I’m such a lonely one God you should see me Wouldn’t will you to be me I’m a lucky one I am the fabled queen It’s not regal where I’ve been Singe easy as velveteen Better still, forget what you’ve seen Someone, melt my crown Somebody, put me down No I’m too lucky for that I live without a beat Fueled only by defeat But sorrow steps so discreet She guides me through the street Don’t trick me with fairy tales The sun makes the stars feel pale I’m a lucky, I’m a lucky, I’m a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky girl
5.
Maybe I’m too sick from all this weather Maybe I’m too sick to leave my bed Too sick to fathom now and then or never Too sick to fathom thoughts I’ve never said Maybe I’m just sick of those I run to Running through the slopes inside my mind Maybe it’s from what I didn’t tell you Honey, I’m just not the telling kind But I am laying in the park on a sunny day Willing my thoughts away Who thought that they would stay Thumbing abandoned byways for a ride Take me for a drive A risk to feel alive I want to feel alive Maybe we’re alone because we want it Abandoned when we’re wondering why we are we sad Life is long; we’re so young and haunted By normality, the things we’ve never had I’m sitting in a room with all my worries My soul is too full to be afraid If I drop it all, I stop and I do not hurry I need only me to get away But today I’m laying in the park on a sunny day And I’m willing my thoughts away Who thought that they would stay Thumbing abandoned byways for a ride Take me for a drive A risk to feel alive I want to feel alive Maybe I’m just sick of pretending Today could be the day my life begins I find poetry in shadows unending Poetry in soil and in skin But I am laying in the park on a sunny day And I’m willing my thoughts away Who thought that they would stay Thumbing abandoned byways for a ride Take me for a drive A risk to feel alive I want to feel alive
6.
When I Drive 05:10
Sometimes when I drive I close my eyes So long, so tight Sometimes when I drive I close my eyes Not enough, I find time To arrive, to arrive, to arrive The best parts of me are all given away And sold for a kiss on the foggiest day Don’t hold me too close, I feel like a ghost Too far for you to know Don’t hold me too close, I feel like a ghost Feet too slow and no need to go home alone, home alone, home alone Because the best parts of me are all given away And sold for a kiss on the sunniest day Don’t leave me here I love ya so dearly It’s my myself that I fear Don’t leave me here I love you so dearly Close my eyes and then you steer Til it’s clear, til it’s clear, til it’s clear It’s so hard to start when I never can win I think the best way to end is to never begin And it’s so hard to talk so I feed them the line That same old one that goes “I feel fine” Because the best parts of me are all given away And sold for a kiss on the loneliest day On the emptiest day
7.
Ease 04:16
I left the station yesterday You never knew and you never came It’s easier leaving than making a reason to stay And I wouldn’t wanna interrupt But you never heard when I spoke up Quiet is easy, easy it’s enough You were all I had When it all went bad I broke myself easy in spite of that So let me be guilty that’s just my kind It’s not you, it’s me; the fault’s all mine It’s easy to be unhappy most of the time Though I know it’s just pretend I never believe it until the end It’s easy, lie to me still until then You say you’d want me back in better health But I’m all hung up on myself It’s easier dying than living for someone else
8.
9.
Sonnet 17 03:25
I do not love you, I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, topaz, Arrows of carnations that propagate fire I love you as one loves certain dark things Secretly, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love A certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth Lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly where I does not exist, nor you I love you for I know no other way than this so close that your hands on my chest are my hands, And so close that your eyes close with my dreams With my dreams
10.
Don’t count your steps on bridges expired Don’t rob the sun when she’s overcast and tired And don’t measure breath in smokey lungs fired Waste your time driving, trying to find signs sighing lonely hearts for hire No one needs to need me No knots left undone No one needs to need me No one needs anyone So why be the one stuck inside dusty mirrors? Who but you can see yourself clearer And you have a ride, are you ready to steer? Who but you will never leave, will always be there? No one needs to need me No knots left undone No one needs to need me No one needs anyone And it’s all in your head I am a story to tell before bed And it’s all in your head I am a story to tell before bed So why need me? You need you I can’t see what you are going through You don’t need a red light to end your mistakes You don’t need a stop light Your foot is on the brake
11.
Sun and Moon 03:56
You are the sun I am the moon Shine for me, I’ll shine for you People know only one of my sides A reflection of you, the rest I hide You are bright and I am blue The best part of me is you You shine on me and I pretend To be seen but all nights end You are needed, I’m unknown I am seated far from your throne But some come to me for midnight’s silence Tired of light and of days violence You are warm; I am cold You stay young but I grow old We never stop spinning, spinning I am lost but you say I’m winning You say I’m winning I feel you from somewhere far away Though we’re different as night and day As things come to pass and come to light Somewhere this night is day, this day is night You are the sun, I am the moon Shine for me, I’ll shine for you Because all darkness needs some light And all days need some night

credits

released February 23, 2016

Alice Limoges - voice, guitar
Itamar Gov-Ari - piano
Zach Chaffee - Drums
Darren Hicks - Bass
Savion Washington - Violin
Kay Kay Iwane - Violin
Michela Christianson - Viola
Claude Gilbert - Cello
Caroline Homer - Backing Vocals
Leanna Ginsberg - Flute
Jacob Nycz - French Horn
Nicole Davis - Trumpet
Carey Ozmun - Trumpet
Colin Dooman - Bass (Track 7)
Emily Javarone - Violin (Track 11)
Alana Shannon - Cello (Track 11)

*Track 5 co-written with Itamar Gov-Ari
*Track 9 text by Pablo Neruda
Arrangements by Zach Jackson
Recorded/Mixed by Joshua Pleeter
Mastered by Legacy Sound
Artwork by Diala Brisly
Graphic Design by Robert Triscoli and Alice Limoges
Logos by Dennis Moore

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Alice Limoges Rockport, Maine

Singer-songwriter born in Coastal Maine living in NY. Dark lyrics, lush sounds.

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